“Let’s webpage!”

One of my favorite semi-recent web discoveries is Progressive Boink, which is now part of the SBNation family of sites.

On the surface, there’s much to love:

  1. Their name is a Calvin and Hobbes reference
  2. “Let’s webpage!” is the best slogan (Ever?)

Probably my favorite post that I’ve found so far is this look back at a 2002 Radio Shack catalog, which is often hilarious, sometimes horrifying, and, in the case of a ham radio enthusiast, oddly touching.

In more recent shenanigans (this is a website best described as “shenanigans”. Or perhaps “antics”!), they’ve been running a tournament of “Most watchable movies”.

Here’s the entire bracket up through the Elite 8. The final four are Raiders of the Lost Ark, Die Hard, The Big Lebowski, and Airplane!.

I have OPINIONS about this!

First, the entire Sam Raimi conference bracket is killing me. Both good Star Wars, both good Indiana Jones, Princess Bride, Kill Bill, Oceans 11, and Tombstone all in one tree? BRUTAL.

Second, I’m happy Shaun of the Dead popped in as a wild card. I would have also accepted Zombieland. I’m still upset Zombieland got pulled from Netflix Instant.

Third, out of the remaining four, Die Hard deserves the win. Easily the most watchable action movie and an excellent answer to keep in your pocket when anyone asks, “What’s your favorite Christmas movie?”.

Finally, I like The Big Lebowski well enough, but you’ll never convince me that it’s more watchable than (gasp!) Groundhog Day or (egads!!) Back to the Future, which is absolutely the most watchable movie in the entire universe. This makes me furious. I hate the internet right now.

Jem flipping a table

Magic player flipping a table

Mad French Stewart flipping a table

/composes self

Let’s move on.

Progressive Boink is one of the few sites where the comments are often worth reading. Especially the weekly LUNCH JUDGMENT series, where commenters post their lunch and site honcho Jon Bois gives your lunch a grade, often with a flourish.

But when commenter Spilly shows up with one of his grotesque, horrific, and thoroughly documented “recipes”, RUN. Or bust a gut laughing. Entirely up to you. 

But I don’t recommend looking if you’ve eaten in the past few hours. His recent “World Series Rice Cakes” recipe would qualify you for disaster relief just for gazing upon its splendor.

STEP 12: Mix both the Faygo and hot dogs into the frosting. Do not be afraid. You will never learn to fly until you step off the ledge.

Ye gods.

Someone collected all of Spilly's recipes, if you dare to look.

Am I doing it wrong?

Comments? I don’t do open comments. Life is too short.

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